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God's Grace and Mercy in Palau

Asia Pacific View, May 2002

In 1985, when my husband was assassinated for political reasons, I was shocked and didn’t know what to do… The investigation continued, but remained unsolved. My mother died one month later, and I became very angry and bitter and hated everyone. I asked God, “What did I do to deserve all this tragedy and misery?” I stopped going to mass to avoid hearing the stories people were telling me. I tried witchcraft and black magic and those who play cards to find out who had the strong magic to make people suffer and die.

One day I went to the post office, and there in my box was an invitation from the Assembly of God Church to attend a crusade to be held at the Palau Civic Center. I was very angry when I read it. I said, “I am a Catholic and I am not going to attend.” I tore it to pieces and threw it to the ground angrily. That night I gathered my prayer books and rosary and decided to attend the Catholic prayer meeting. I walked all the way to the Civic Center road, and something inside me said, “Regina, go inside the Civic Center.” Then I said to myself, “No, I am going to the prayer meeting.” So I continued walking. Again, I thought I heard a loud voice saying, “Regina, go to the Civic Center and see.” So I turned and walked to the Civic Center building. I looked around and the people were all Filipino except for one Palauan lady married to one of the Filipino men. They started singing, clapping and raising their hands. I sat down and wished I had not come. I wanted to leave. “What kind of religion is this? Clapping hands, raising hands and making so much noise?” “What a noisy church!” When they finished singing one of the leaders prayed and introduced the others. There was Pastor R. B. Cavaness, Pastor Howard Helwig, and Rev. George Delgatty who was the speaker. While preaching he said, “Jesus is the answer to all your problems.” This was the message that awakened me. I wanted to know how I could deal with my problems, but I was ashamed to ask. I went home thinking about it and saying to myself, “Jesus is the answer to all my problems.”

The next day I attended again until the crusade finished. On Sunday I went to the Sunday service at the Civic Center. When there were altar calls, I sat back and said to myself, “I am a Catholic. I know God and I don’t need to go to the front.” That was my pattern for six months. On December 1987, Pastor Howard went to Guam for Christmas and New Years. So on December 31, 1987 I attended another church service. I went inside and sat and waited for the service to start. While I was sitting, I closed my eyes wanting to pray, but I did no know how to pray, so I said this silently to the Lord, “Lord I do not know where I am going, I want to know you. Show me where I can learn more about you.” I opened my eyes and sat still. Then a thought came to my head. “Assembly of God Church.” So I began to attend the Assembly of God church where I learned more about God.

Pastor Howard Helwig came back from Guam. It was January 14, 1988 when my life suddenly changed. I went to church that morning with this thought, “Jesus is the answer to all my problems.” When Pastor Howard asked for those who wanted to accept Jesus in their hearts as Lord and Savior, I stood up and walked to the front. While he prayed for other people beside me, I was shaking and fell on the floor. All the bad things I said and did to other people flashed in my head – the witchcraft, the hatred, the anger and bitterness, wanting people to suffer and die, pride, my bad attitude towards other people.

I cried aloud saying, “Lord forgive me for all the bad things I said and did, the bad thoughts toward other people, my bad attitude towards people. The one who killed my husband killed only one person, but I am worse. I have killed many people. Please forgive me and have your way in my life.” I stood up and was so light I thought I was floating on the air. With tears I was laughing. I wanted to jump and shout with joy. I went home with such joy and peace. My children were wondering what had made me so happy and so calm.

On September 8, 1988, I was filled with the Holy Spirit, and on March 7, 1989, I went into the waters of baptism. I decided not to go back to work at the hospital, but to work full-time for the Lord. After eight years of investigation, the police finally found the killers of my husband. This did not bother me, for I had already forgiven them. Even though I did not know who they were, I had prayed for them. After they were incarcerated, I visited them in jail and talked to them about the Lord, which was my usual custom for prison ministry.

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